What I did on my Christmas Vacation...

Fun! (No, really, I LOVE putting things together!)

I Got It!

Today I received my OFFICIAL invitation to join the AG Mission team in Mozambique! I don't know how, or when, or where, but at least I know I'm going! Thank You Jesus!

One hurdle behind me...

Yesterday I received a recommendation from my district.... Yes, I've actually been approved to represent North Texas as a Missionary Associate to Mozambique! I was really worried about being interviewed by six pastors, but it all went very well, and they even told me they were quite impressed with me! Who'd a thunk? I still don't think I'm all that special, but then I know myself better than anybody else.... (hehe!) OK, maybe I am a bit above average in some areas, but I consider myself well below average in others, so doesn't that make me just about average? (Unlike Mary Poppins, who was, "Practically perfect in every way!") Although, no one really knows anything about her past, either..... doing OK at this moment is all I can ask....

Some of the reasons....

I thought I would share a few of the reasons I want to go back to Mozambique...

These boys were living on the streets, suffering

from malnutrition... they are now happy, healthy boys

who can play and have fun instead of begging or stealing to survive...

Teaching girls a marketable skill keeps them off the streets, and gives them

hope for a job when they finish school...

Rosina is wearing the first pair of new shoes she

has ever had... I bought them for 50 cents at the dollar store...

I love to hold babies! These guys were just visiting...

they are the nephews of one of the workers...

This home currently houses 40 children... for every child rescued from a life on the streets, there are still hundreds more who need the simplest things we take for granted...

a safe place to sleep, something to wear, something to eat, someone to trust...

It takes so little to do so much....

Change of Heart?

I just received an interesting phone call, perhaps my dream is not gone after all... It appears my application was routed to the wrong department, and has now been re-routed to the proper place. I knew I was not qualified for a position requiring ministry credentials, and that is not what I thought I was applying for, but that's where my application ended up. It's OK, I'm not in a hurry, and God knows the proper time for all things. I'm getting better at waiting.... (not liking it any more, just getting better at it...)

"Thanks, but No Thanks...."

...they said. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, after all, I have "a past..." So, I'll go on with my life, and look to the future. There will be other opportunities, other avenues if God truly wants me to minister to children in Mozambique... I'll be keeping my eyes open...

OK, so there's this guy....

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life and asking "What now?" I guess turning 50 had something to do with this sudden bent toward introspection, that and losing my dog.... Both have served to remind me of the fleeting nature of this 'mortal coil' (whatever that means....) Sometimes I think I've done OK, I have raised three children to adulthood; they are all now self-sufficient, reasonably happy and not in jail. :0 I am living 'the American dream,' I have a college degree, I'm paying a mortgage on nice little house, and a car payment on an almost new SUV (it was new when I got it), and not falling behind on any of my other bills. I may even manage to get my credit cards paid off this year! Woohoo! I have no major health issues (with the exception of the twenty or so pounds I need to lose), my hair is gray, but not falling out and I still have all my teeth. ;)So, what's my deal? I'M INCREDIBLY LONELY! Is it really so wrong for me to long for someone to share my life? Shouldn't I be happy with things the way they are? Don't get me wrong, I have 'friends,' but they are not the kind of friends I would call in the middle of the night if I'm sick, or scared, or just lonely... they are those 'friends' you have for the 'occasion'... friends at church, friends at work, friends at the gym, etc. Just not friends for the daily grind - the joyous and difficult situations of life, someone to laugh with, cry with, or just sit with... someone who 'gets' you, understands you on the deepest level and loves and accepts you anyway...

OK, so there's this guy... I met him 18 months ago in a very unlikely place, doing some very unusual work. We hit it off right away; we laughed, cried, laughed some more, and we talked and talked; I mean, we REALLY talked; about everything and nothing at all, and it was GREAT! And then I had to come home... We continued to communicate via email and text messages. I went back for a visit 10 months later, to do some more work in the area, but partly to be sure I wasn't being a silly, romantic little ninnie. The second time we laughed, cried, laughed, talked and talked and talked some more, and it was STILL GREAT! (In fact, even better!) And then I had to come home again, but this time he kissed me good bye.... (and a right proper kiss it was, too.....)

So now you say, that sounds nice, what's the problem? Once again, I'm home, and he is 10,000 miles away. No really, I mean it, he lives ten-freakin-thousand miles from here! Seriously! It's the middle of summer where I am, and he's in the middle of winter! It's the middle of the day here, and he's in the middle of the night! Talk about poetic justice, or penance for my past wrongs, or something... just when I find someone I can really connect with, he's literally on the opposite side of the world! Maybe I'm really not meant to be that happy, or God knows I can only take true happiness in very small doses...

The memories are nice, though... and there's always hope...

Keep smiling!!!!

Crossroads....

There are those times when you must make choices.... You know, we call them crossroads of life. I'm at one of those times, when I'm just not sure which road to take. I feel like I've pulled off the highway of life, and I'm busily searching the map to find out where to go from here. Fortunately, I don't have a deadline, and I'm not holding up traffic while I'm making my choice. So, I can take my time, do my 'homework' as it were, and make the decision when I am ready, and not when forced to by the honking of horns and pressures of deadlines. Sometimes I think we all need to take the time to get off the road and evaluate where we've been while we decide where to go from here. My destinations have changed over time, so the route I've taken looks circuitous, but it's been quite interesting...... I always find when I reach my destination, that it's not a destination at all, just another crossroad along the route. People come and go along the way, their routes crossing and recrossing mine, and occasionally routes converge for a while, and I have company on the way. Then those parallel routes diverge, and I am alone again, left with the memories of those who have accompanied me. I wish them well on their journey, and hope they find contentment. Right now, I am content to sit at this crossroad and peruse the maps and schedules, and imagine all the places yet to see. Soon I will choose one, and off I'll go. But for now, rest and reflection are the order of the day.

Faithful Friends....

I lost a faithful friend today....

It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but he was in so much pain it needed to be done.... I'll miss you Morgan... Thanks for keeping me company when I needed it most...

One more step...

I took a STEP yesterday.... one I've been working on for a while. It was a really BIG STEP, and I hope it leads to a great adventure! I had to side-step (pun intended!) my regular routine to finalize the STEP, but it was worth the minimal delay in my otherwise crowded daily routine.

Sometimes the preparation to take a STEP is quite a learning experience... I know this one was for me. This STEP required a bit more introspection than is generally comfortable for me, but once the STEP was taken, I felt an incredible peace. The next STEP is out of my hands, and all I have to do is wait for a response...

This STEP has a lot to do with leaving my heart in Mozambique... Here it is.... I have submitted my application packet to be considered for full-time missionary appointment. I'd like to work in Mozambique, establishing children's homes for children orphaned and abandoned as a result of the rampant AIDS epidemic in Southern Africa. Yes, that's a BIG STEP, especially at my age, but one can't walk around with half a heart, hey? No, my heart wasn't stolen in Mozambique, I gladly gave it away, and I'll continue to give it away, as long as it's beating....

What I'd like to do someday.....

Sometimes I think of all the things I'd like to do "someday" My someday list is probably not like yours, and it shouldn't be. We should all have our own unique list. Things on my someday list sometimes move around in importance, and some have come and gone. I think about the list when I'm in my car driving (AGAIN!!!) to work. The first thing on the list is actually something I DON'T want to do... No. 1 - Someday I won't drive an hour to a job every day! (Not that I don't like my job, I do! I just would like the option someday of not having to work for someone else....) The rest of the things on the list are really in no particular order, and may change depending on my mood or degree of tiredness....

1. Go parachuting
1. Clean out my closets, drawers and garage and get rid of all my JUNK
1. Live in Mozambique and care for orphans
1. Vacation in the mountains every summer with someone special
1. Learn to play the bassoon
1. Sing in a community production of a Broadway show
1. Get a Master's Degree in something useful (as opposed to my now-useless Bachelor's Degree...)
1. Finish the hand-smocked dress I started for my daughter now that she has a daughter I can give it to...
1. Fall in love with the same man over and over every day for the rest of my life

OK, that's only a few of the things I think of putting on the list. No, it's not like the bucket list, I'm not sick or dying, just thinking and wishing. (And yes, they are all numbered 1, because that's where they may end up on the list....) someday!

Now What????

OK, I've started this thingie, so I suppose I should carry on.... So, last night I'm talking to my Son on the telephone, and he says something so off the wall I think, "Where does he get that?" (and then he fusses at me for not agreeing with him....) I told Daughter Number One his comment, and her reaction was, "What's wrong with him? How did he get like that?" So we began to wonder how three children can grow up in the same house, with the same parents, eat the same food, drink the same water, go to the same church, school, soccer games, baseball games, etc., and still turn out to have such differing opinions on basic beliefs. Hmmmm..... It may always be a mystery..... So, he'll vote for one candidate, and I'll vote for another one - that's the democratic process! Now, don't get the wrong idea... I have three wonderful grown-up children that I love bunches and bunches, and they are all my favorite child in some way. I just don't happen to agree with everything they believe, and I never will. I'm old enough for people to just stop trying to convince me to change my mind, and I've seen, done and learned way more than my children have, so maybe I'm a little smarter than they think I am..... They'll figure that out someday... I'm really glad they are individual thinkers, though, even if they don't think the same things I do.

ANYWAY, I also have the bestest grandchildren in the world! Grandson Number One was hilarious during the Easter Egg roundup we had at Grandma's house (now, just for clarification, Grandma is NOT me, she is my Mom, so technically she is GreatGrandma to him, but that's just too hard for a barely two-year young lad to try to say...) Last year's Easter Egg roundup was really his first one, but he wasn't quite walking, so didn't really get the idea. THIS year, however, as a fully two-year old kid, he totally 'got' the "Easter Eggs are full of CANDY" idea! He was so serious and intent on opening each and every egg to investigate the prize within that he really didn't roundup a huge amount of eggs. He didn't seem to care, as long as there was always one more... All us grown-ups got such a giggle watching him, meticulously opening each egg, picking out every last piece of candy and putting them one by one into his basket, closing the egg and then looking up at his mommy and saying, "more?" (except it actually comes out like "mowah?" , a totally two-syllable Texas drawl word!) Grandkids are so great!

Well, thanks for looking in, see you next time!

OK, I'll give this a try....

But I honestly can't imagine why anyone would want to know what I think. Maybe I'll just post some observations, I do seem to come into contact with some interesting people and situations... more on that later (now, I've piqued your interest!)

Did you ever wonder (no, I'm not going to do Andy Rooney - hehe!).... so, did you ever wonder why you believe what you believe? For example, I know this woman who believes that when we've used up all the oil & gas reserves, the earth is going to collapse in on itself, and that teriffic, final collapse will be the huge earthquakes mentioned in Revelation... She believes this with such fervor, with no scientific proof, and I wonder why? Who told her there were pools of oil and caverns filled with natural gas holding up the earth's crust, and why did she believe that unlikely (and most definitely untrue!) story? Did she jump to that faulty conclusion based upon limited facts and little or no logic? I've tried to describe to her in layman's term the mechanisms by which oil & gas are recovered, and how they are trapped inside the rocks, not in pools or caverns....but no amount of explanation convinces her, regardless of the logic... I wonder, did someone purposefully mislead her, or did she come to these conclusions on her own, and more importantly, what else could she be misled into believing?

Now I'm not a scientist, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am fairly intelligent (OK, OK, I scored way high on the Mensa exams....) So, when I come across something that is a 'given' or 'that's the way it is' or a 'they say...' I tend to try to figure out why people think the things they do, if I'm at all curious about the subject. (Some subjects don't interest me in the least, so I just ignore them....hehe!) So, maybe this blog can be about some of the random things I've learned in my mental wanderings, trying to figure out "Where do they come up with this stuff???"

My personal beliefs have been overturned, turned inside out, tossed aside, picked up, dusted off, re-examined, refurbished, reformed and reclaimed many times throughout my life. There is always more information to be considered and there are increasingly more experiences to rely upon. Flexibility in life is essential....

OK, OK, enough already! I hope I haven't bored you so much you never return to my ramblings.... Now, home to play with my dog! Toodles! (no that's not the dog' name...hehe!)