OK, so there's this guy....

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life and asking "What now?" I guess turning 50 had something to do with this sudden bent toward introspection, that and losing my dog.... Both have served to remind me of the fleeting nature of this 'mortal coil' (whatever that means....) Sometimes I think I've done OK, I have raised three children to adulthood; they are all now self-sufficient, reasonably happy and not in jail. :0 I am living 'the American dream,' I have a college degree, I'm paying a mortgage on nice little house, and a car payment on an almost new SUV (it was new when I got it), and not falling behind on any of my other bills. I may even manage to get my credit cards paid off this year! Woohoo! I have no major health issues (with the exception of the twenty or so pounds I need to lose), my hair is gray, but not falling out and I still have all my teeth. ;)So, what's my deal? I'M INCREDIBLY LONELY! Is it really so wrong for me to long for someone to share my life? Shouldn't I be happy with things the way they are? Don't get me wrong, I have 'friends,' but they are not the kind of friends I would call in the middle of the night if I'm sick, or scared, or just lonely... they are those 'friends' you have for the 'occasion'... friends at church, friends at work, friends at the gym, etc. Just not friends for the daily grind - the joyous and difficult situations of life, someone to laugh with, cry with, or just sit with... someone who 'gets' you, understands you on the deepest level and loves and accepts you anyway...

OK, so there's this guy... I met him 18 months ago in a very unlikely place, doing some very unusual work. We hit it off right away; we laughed, cried, laughed some more, and we talked and talked; I mean, we REALLY talked; about everything and nothing at all, and it was GREAT! And then I had to come home... We continued to communicate via email and text messages. I went back for a visit 10 months later, to do some more work in the area, but partly to be sure I wasn't being a silly, romantic little ninnie. The second time we laughed, cried, laughed, talked and talked and talked some more, and it was STILL GREAT! (In fact, even better!) And then I had to come home again, but this time he kissed me good bye.... (and a right proper kiss it was, too.....)

So now you say, that sounds nice, what's the problem? Once again, I'm home, and he is 10,000 miles away. No really, I mean it, he lives ten-freakin-thousand miles from here! Seriously! It's the middle of summer where I am, and he's in the middle of winter! It's the middle of the day here, and he's in the middle of the night! Talk about poetic justice, or penance for my past wrongs, or something... just when I find someone I can really connect with, he's literally on the opposite side of the world! Maybe I'm really not meant to be that happy, or God knows I can only take true happiness in very small doses...

The memories are nice, though... and there's always hope...

Keep smiling!!!!